The next time you feel like your love life just isn’t going the way you had hoped, I recommend that you consider the two tales of woe that follow:
Police in Fort Myers, Florida, said Jonathon Guabello, 29, was angry because his girlfriend had the nerve to deny him sex after they came home from the bar. Doing what any reasonable man of action would do, he left the room, shot himself twice in the arm, fell, and hit his head on a kitchen appliance, knocking himself out.
In Anderson Township, Ohio, another frustrated lover, angry that his girlfriend kept falling asleep during sex, retaliated, according to police, by attempting to set fire to her van. And please take a long moment to savor the delicious fact that the 46-year-old man’s name is Gregory Smallwood.
See, don’t you feel better now? Stories courtesy of News of the WEIRD, one of those sites that never fails to deliver a laugh.